I am the psychotherapist.  Please, describe your problems.  Each time
you are finished talking, type RET twice.

LOOK!!  Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and
 ``Flock of Seagulls'' HAIRCUTS!

Why do you say that?

OVER the underpass!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE
 and BEYOND REPAIR!!

What makes you believe around the future and beyond repair?

Yow!  Is this sexual intercourse yet??  Is it, huh, is it??

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

Yow!  I just went below the poverty line!

Is it because of your life that you say you just went below the
poverty line?

Laundry is the fifth dimension!!  ...um...um...  th' washing machine
 is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!!

You have your mind on machines, it seems.

They don't hire PERSONAL PINHEADS, Mr. Toad!

Are you sure that they do not hire personal pinheads mr toad?

I hope the ``Eurythmics'' practice birth control...

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going
through all this?

SANTA CLAUS comes down a FIRE ESCAPE wearing bright
 blue LEG WARMERS..  He scrubs the POPE with a mild
 soap or detergent for 15 minutes, starring JANE FONDA!!

I don't understand.

I HAVE to buy a new ``DODGE MISER'' and two dozen JORDACHE
 JEANS because my viewscreen is ``USER-FRIENDLY''!!

Is it because your viewscreen is user friendly'' that you came to me?

I'm working under the direct orders of WAYNE NEWTON to deport
 consenting adults!

Earlier you said your viewscreen is user friendly''?

..  I think I'd better go back to my DESK and toy with
 a few common MISAPPREHENSIONS...

How do you reconcile problems at school?

It's today's SPECIAL!

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say it's today's
special?

Why are these athletic shoe salesmen following me??

Does it bother you that are these athletic shoe salesmen following
you?

Are you selling NYLON OIL WELLS??  If so, we can use TWO DOZEN!!

You mentioned that your viewscreen is user friendly''?

Remember, if you try to ESCAPE, many APARTMENT HOPPING ALCOHOLICS will
 SIMONIZE your HALLWAYS!!  This is your LAST WARNING!!

Perhaps this has something to do with your sex life?

I guess it was all a DREAM..  or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O...

Do you really think or an episode of hawaii five o?

Is there something I should be DOING with a GLAZED DONUT??

What makes you think are these athletic shoe salesmen following you?

TAILFINS!!  ...click...

Can you elaborate on that?

You can't hurt me!!  I have an ASSUMABLE MORTGAGE!!

Possibly hangups you have are related to this.

Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS!
 Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!!  Follow the WHIPPLE AVE EXIT!!
 Have a FREE PEPSI!!  Turn LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!!
 JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!!  MAKE me an OFFER!!!

Is it because of your inhibitions that you say make you an offer?

If I felt any more SOPHISTICATED I would DIE of EMBARRASSMENT!

This is not a healthy way of thinking.

Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL

Earlier you said your viewscreen is user friendly''?

Imagine--a WORLD without POODLES...

Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you are going
through all this?

..I must be a VETERINARIAN..

Why do you say..i must be a veterinarian?

I was giving HAIR CUTS to th' SAUCER PEOPLE ..  I'm CLEAN!!

You mentioned that are these athletic shoe salesmen following you?

LIFE is a never-ending INFORMERCIAL!

How do you reconcile some problems at home?

The appreciation of the average visual graphisticator alone is worth
 the whole suaveness and decadence which abounds!!

Maybe this is related to your plans?

We are now enjoying total mutual interaction in an imaginary hot tub...

What makes you believe your viewscreen is user friendly''?

UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S
 having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.

Perhaps your life could have caused this.

..  I don't understand the HUMOR of the THREE STOOGES!!

Are you afraid of that?

Now my EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23% of the
 SMELTING and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!!

Earlier you said are these athletic shoe salesmen following you?

You can't hurt me!!  I have an ASSUMABLE MORTGAGE!!

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going
through all this?

Don't hit me!!  I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!

Is it because of problems at school that you say you are in the
twilight zone?

How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS??

Are you annoyed that modular loves someone?